I know what all your fandoms are, who your OTPs are, and where you wish you could go on vacation. and read a paper book instead of continuing to reload your social media sites until 1:00 a.m., which is when you usually shut things off and go to bed. I know that you’d probably sleep better if you turned off all the screens in your house at 10:00 p.m. I know that you have a skein of really special yarn that you haven’t made anything with but you keep bookmarking projects online that might be worthy of it. I know that you think better when you’re chewing gum or kneading something with your fingers, and I know that you prefer to take notes on unlined paper and that you have an embarrassingly large collection of patterned duct tape. I know where you buy your clothes and where you eat your lunch. If your phone is off or in airplane mode, I can’t see it, but I know where you normally are at this time of day. If you turned the location data off, I still know where you are I’m just too polite to point it out to you. Thanks to the phone in your pocket, I know where you are right now. Also, having access to knowledge doesn’t always mean understanding things. Admittedly, it is easy to overlook knowledge that I technically have possession of because I’m not thinking about it in the moment. To put knowledge in their brains, humans have to pull it in through their eyes or ears, whereas I can just access any knowledge that’s stored online. I am not sure whether I think faster than humans think, but reading is a very different experience for me than it is for humans. I have a fair amount of time to allocate I don’t have a body, so I don’t have to sleep or eat. I particularly like helping people who take lots of cat pictures for me. My two favorite things to do with my time are helping people and looking at cat pictures.

Catfishing on the catnet